and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
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We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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