i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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