I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
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This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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