Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
