Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize