thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
