yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize