TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
