I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
