I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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