I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
