So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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