I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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