I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
