he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
