I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.