I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame