so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.