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I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
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