I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
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I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."