Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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