ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
