Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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