You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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