so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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