In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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