i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
