he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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