1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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