you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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