It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
