She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
