she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
