it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
