I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
