If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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