You're my little dorito
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
