I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The power of my boobs compel you
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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