Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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