i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
