this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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