If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
