im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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