In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
