Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
