Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
