erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I want a musical about memes.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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