come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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