Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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