if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize