Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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