Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
