So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Randomize
