i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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