How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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