If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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