i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
