Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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