Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
