She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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