We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
