Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
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I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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