I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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