I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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