Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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